


I stand so close, but you're miles away.

by ryoflame



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Jealousy, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-20 22:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/892393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryoflame/pseuds/ryoflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck Hansen would rather be killing Kaiju than having to deal with his own emotional problems. Unfortunately for Chuck, problems like that don't go away on their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I stand so close, but you're miles away.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Archadian_Skies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archadian_Skies/gifts).



> A gift for my partner-in-crime, Archadian_Skies, who hasn't stopped screaming about Pacific Rim with me since we saw it. This fic is unbeta-d so feel free to point out mistakes. It also feels like it could have ended up twice as long but would have had me rehashing too much of the film itself. Hope it doesn't feel too rushed.

Chuck Hansen had been in countless battle simulations, multiple Kaiju defense missions and had recently struck his eighth Kaiju kill alongside his father in the world's fastest and most prized Jaeger. He had been raised a warrior, had graduated Jaeger academy with flying colours and was as much a fighter outside of a giant mech as he was in one.

Prized fighter and Kaiju-annihilator Chuck Hansen stands in the hall outside the control room, more terrified than he is in the face of any alien beast, and the source of his distress is currently coming down the hall towards him with a deceptively dainty step, her data-book clutched in her arms.

Mako had been called to the control room to be a part of a strategy meeting with the Marshall, Herc and Tendo. She may not be a Jaeger pilot herself, but Stacker trusts her judgement enough to consult her on some matters including the reconstruction and improvement of the battle-damaged Jaegers they were trying to salvage from past battles. They did not have a lot of resources left, and had to make the best of what was left available to them.

Chuck realises he's standing at attention. He hadn't even noticed himself snapping up into the position until he has to actually make the effort to will his muscles to relax. Mako's eyes slide over him briefly and she pauses in her steps for a heartbeat to offer a shallow bow in acknowledgement of his presence before reaching out to the panel that would open the door.

'Seems like a pretty grim party in there.' he blurts out in what he hopes is a jovial tone, forcing a smile when she pauses at his attempt at conversation.

Mako regards Chuck with the same impassive expression she used on all the pilots when they were on duty. Stern, businesslike. 'I suppose it would be.' she agrees. 'The impending end of the world isn't much cause for celebration.'

He clears his throat. 'Well... nah, I guess not.' Chuck has good battle instincts. Those instincts are telling him it's time to give up and run. He ignores them. _No, not today._ 'Are you, uh...' he waves a hand vaguely at the door as words fail him. _Smooth._

'Joining them, yes. Are you waiting for your father?'

'Yeah.' he says automatically, then hurriedly, ' _Nah_ , I mean, I didn't even know he was in there I was just on my way into the Dome.' A lie, but it's bad enough that he hears whispers from the technicians about him being a daddy's boy, he doesn't need Mako knowing he's standing out in the hall like a scolded child because Hercules Hansen doesn't want him in on this meeting.

She stares at him quizzically for a moment before nodding curtly. '...Okay then. See you later, Mr. Hansen.'

By the time his brain formulates a response that would have dragged the conversation on just a little longer she is gone, through the door which hisses shut behind her. 'See ya.' he finishes lamely, despite the fact she is well out of earshot. His ears burn with embarrassment and he looks around quickly to make sure there are no witnesses to one of the most awkward conversations he's ever had. The techies strolling the halls don't seem to notice, or care.

Chuck jams his hands angrily into the pockets of his military-issue overalls and can't bear to stand around any longer. He walks quickly, jaw clenched as he replays the exchange over and over in his head; such a short conversation, and yet so many moments that make him want to both cringe or stick his head into a Jaeger's nuclear core, maybe both simultaneously.

He feels his temper rising, and it's no one's fault but his own. It's always been like this, for as long as he's known Mako Mori; from the day he met her at the academy and was instantly, inexplicably in awe of the girl. What began as fascination and admiration as he watched her once again be congratulated by the Marshall for her flawless simulator score, slowly but surely turned into something Chuck really didn't want to think about.

He is a soldier. He is beyond schoolyard crushes.

At least that the mantra he repeats over and over in his head whenever Mako is in the same room as him.

The worst part of it all is that when she _is_ in the same room as him, she barely registers his presence. The only time she directs her smile in his direction is when he has Max with him, his excitable bulldog, who she adores. Otherwise, her attention is almost always focused on Pentecost, who Chuck knows has a close bond with the young woman. But even Choi and his father get a smile and light-hearted banter. Chuck, on the other hand, may as well be invisible.

Someone collides with his shoulder, spinning him out of his thoughts and he focuses on a familiar face; one of the Wei Tang clan, though hell if he knows which one it is. The triplet raises his hands and arches a brow in silent apology but Chuck is in a foul mood already and that's the tipping point he needs to let off some steam.

' _Oi_ , you wanna watch where you're fuckin' going, yeah?' He squares up his shoulders, glowering down at the Chinese youth. The Australian is taller, but the Wei brother does not look intimidated, nor does he back off. Instead, now both brows are raised, one a little higher than the other, the universal expression of _what the hell is your problem?_

It irks the irate pilot even more, and despite the fact that he vaguely registers the other two triplets in his peripheral vision--not a surprise, there is never one without the other two close behind--he shoves the one in front of him by the shoulder.

If Chuck had actually bothered to read up properly on the people who he would be fighting alongside in the Kaiju war he might have known the triplets' background and the fact that before entering the academy they had been skilled street fighters. If he had known that, it might not have been such a shock when the Chinese pilot--and it was Jin Wei he had been antagonising--disables him in a grand total of three seconds, using Chuck's own muscled weight and his own lithe body as a pivot to flip him over and slam him face first into the floor, knocking the wind out of him and leaving him dazed. The Australian's raised voice had already drawn onlookers, and they snicker derisively at this turn of events as Jin stares down at him for a moment, unimpressed, before joining his brothers and continuing on in the direction they had been heading before Chuck had decided to make a scene.

Chuck's anger is somewhat diminished by his bruised ego and he slowly gets to his feet, scowling, refusing to make eye contact with anyone around him. Maybe it was time to give up for the day. It's not like anything is going in his favour.

* * *

Things continue not to go in Chuck's favour with the arrival of Raleigh Becket.

Chuck immediately decides he dislikes him and comes to this conclusion for several reasons; everyone seems to consider him some kind of golden boy, despite the fact that Raleigh hasn't piloted a Jaeger in over half a decade. Raleigh is also older than him by about that much and this makes Chuck instantly defensive; he'll be damned if he's going to treat this newcomer like some sort of respected veteran.

Worst of all though, is the way Mako looks at him. Bright-eyed, expectant. Hopeful.

Mako speaks easily to Raleigh, another thing that wounds Chuck although he knows it's petty jealousy and he feels he should be above that. He had once gotten Mako flowers for her birthday, a difficult acquisition on the isolated military compound, and expensive to obtain, but the radiant smile she had directed him in response as she took the colourful bouquet into her arms and buried her nose into the fragrant petals had been more than worth the effort. Only now, with Raleigh, the smile doesn't need to be prompted by flowers.

Every time Chuck sees it it kills him a little bit on the inside. Every time he hears praise about the newcomer he harvests his irritation and jealousy and quietly accumulates it deep inside himself, a slowly growing, poisonous ball of rage. He tries a few times to be civil, he really does. And when Mako's within earshot he actually manages it, to a degree. But there is just _something_ about Raleigh's sullen, reluctant attitude that really grinds Chuck's gears.

Why put so much hope in a has-been? He just doesn't get it, not when the practically ancient Mark III Jaeger the man used to pilot is no match for the sleek Mark V that Chuck himself pilots alongside his father.

Raleigh is put through sparring trials to determine the best candidate for his Jaeger copilot and despite wanting to seem disinterested, Chuck goes to watch the session, his cap pulled low and hooding his gaze. It takes every ounce of his self-control not to voice a protest when Raleigh demands that Mako be his copilot after she bests him in the match, but it turns out he doesn't have to--the Marshall voices the protest for him.

It feels like his first victory over Raleigh Becket, although Raleigh probably isn't even aware that they're competing. He feels smugness settle into his features, soothing taut muscles that usually clench every time Raleigh so much as looks in his direction--as he does now, spotting Chuck amongst the slowly dispersing crowd of onlookers. Chuck holds his gaze and smiles genuinely at him for the first time; a venomous, self-satisfied smile. 

* * *

The self-satisfaction is quickly wiped from his system after Stacker not only changes his mind about letting Mako copilot for Raleigh, but puts them through a trial run in Gipsy Danger which ends disastrously, with only quick thinking from Tendo and Chuck himself saving the Shatterdome from what would have been almost irreparable damage. He finally finds a voice for all the anger he's been saving up since Raleigh's arrival, hollering his displeasure at the situation in Marshall Pentecost's office and not bothering to tone down his language despite the fact he can sense his father's embarrassment due to his behaviour.

When Herc Hansen finally has enough of his son's carrying-on, he manhandles Chuck to the door and glowers at him in that way that only fathers can as Chuck exits through it. 'Right. Stay there.' he growls, before slamming the door shut after him.

Chuck, still fuming, turns and comes face-to-face with Raleigh.

The two men size each other up and Chuck feels his temper clawing at his mind again, the very sight of the pilot in front of him leaving him seeing red. He wastes no time letting the other pilot know exactly what he feels about the situation, spitting the words into Raleigh's face.

'Do us all a favour and just disappear.' he growls, flicking a finger against Raleigh's sternum. 'It's what you're good at.'

'Stop it.' Mako protests, stepping forward, but Raleigh stops her with a hand against her shoulder. Chuck sees their connection, sees how their trial in Gipsy, a failure or not, has brought the two of them even closer together. Something inside him snaps.

'Yeah that's right, hold back your little girlfriend.' he sneers, practically spitting the last word. ' _One_ of you bitches needs to be on a leash.'

The instant the words leave his mouth he regrets them, as he sees surprise, then hurt flash through Mako's dark eyes. It stabs him through the heart and he wishes immediately he could take them back, but it's too late for that now.

In the next instant, Raleigh belts him in the face with a closed fist.

The brawl is short but both men are left with cuts and bruises after Herc separates them. Raleigh got the better of Chuck in this one, and the latest bruise to his ego leaves Chuck's temper wilted again, and all he can see before his eyes as he turns to go back to his quarters is the look of betrayal and disbelief on Mako's face. 

* * *

Chuck makes the effort to seek Mako out later when she is alone. She is still dressed in her pilot suit--the double event Kaiju attack had been sudden but the victory for Gipsy Danger had been such a spectacular one that everyone had kept the Jaeger's pilots occupied with congratulations since they had landed. While the pilots of Striker Eureka had already had the chance to dress their wounds and change back into more comfortable civilian gear, the pilots of Gipsy Danger were only just now able to get away to wind down.

She avoids his gaze and seems to shrink inward a little as he approaches her, her mouth set in a grim line. She looks like she might immediately find an excuse to leave, but he holds out both hands, palms raised and open in an _I mean no harm_ gesture. He has also brought Max along as a fail-safe, knowing she can't often resist the overexcited animal.

'Can I help you, Mr. Hansen?' she asks stiffly, although she crouches to give Max a scratch under his slobbery chin.

'Miss Mori... Mako, I...' he flounders unhappily, apologies mostly foreign to him. He swallows, feeling genuinely repentant and horribly unhappy because of it. 'What I said before, I...'

He hopes she might interrupt him, cut him off. She doesn't. He has to soldier on.

'Look, I really didn't mean what I said. I was angry at a lot of things and I wasn't thinking. I wasn't angry at you, not really. You didn't deserve that.'

'You weren't just angry, Mr. Hansen, although you might have built yourself up to that--you were afraid.' she squares up her shoulders now, drawing herself up to her full height and staring up at him. 'Rightfully so, considering the situation I put everyone in by not maintaining control.'

His shoulders sag, he knows she's right. It had been a close call, and he might be able to face down Kaiju with no problem, but staring down the barrel of an active plasma cannon was never something that had been in his to-do list. His anger had been a result of his frayed nerves. And yet he knows it's no excuse. 'Miss Mori I respect you as a soldier and a pilot and I never... I never meant what I said. _Really_. I'm very sorry, I truly am. You held your own against those two monsters out there while we sat useless. I never shoulda doubted you.'

She lowers her head, seeming to contemplate this, nodding slowly, and when she raises it, she is smiling. Chuck's heart stutters for a moment and he shifts uneasily, feeling his ears burn as they always did when he was embarrassed. 'Thank you, Charles.' she says kindly. 'I accept your apology, and I look forward to fighting together, instead of fighting one another.' 

* * *

It's their final mission, their most important mission, and it's all going to hell.

The original plan had gone out the window because of the research team's sudden revelation about the workings of the Breach, and with two category four Kaiju--along with a horrifyingly powerful category five--quite literally knocking on their door miles below the surface of the Pacific, a palpable sense of doom was beginning to settle over the pilots in Striker Eureka.

'What do we do, sir?' Chuck can hardly hear himself over the screech of tearing metal, buckling under the pressure of the water crushing in on them, but even before Stacker--his replacement copilot after his father had sustained an injury in the double event that left him unable to ride--replies the Australian knows the answer; after all, they're linked, nothing is hidden between them.

He remembers that all too well when the older man smiles faintly and meets his gaze. Chuck realises--almost guiltily--that Stacker _knows_. He knows how Chuck feels about his adopted daughter, he knows the source of the younger pilot's misdirected rage, he can see it all and he _understands_. Because he's had plenty of moments of his own where his temper has gotten the better of him, in regards to Mako and his need to love and protect her.

'We clear a path, for the lady.' he says calmly, the words carrying through the Drift more easily than through the cacophony of malfunctioning hardware as the badly damaged Striker Eureka begins collapsing in on itself.

Chuck's jaw sets in determination and he nods curtly, knowing what needs to be done. There is no other way, and if it means success for the mission--if it means success for Gipsy and her pilots--he will carry it out. He tries not to think of Mako, knowing that every thought it shared, but suddenly Mako is in their thoughts anyway and he doesn't know if it's because of him or because of the Marshall, but she's there and he thinks of her and his father, his mother, even his dog.

'It's been a pleasure working with you, sir.' he says firmly, genuinely, and when Stacker Pentecost nods in acknowledgement he closes his eyes as they push the switch.

'Sensei,' Mako's voice from the speakers, swirling through the two men's connected minds like an echo. ' _Aishitemasu_.'

In the instant before the world turns white, Charles Hansen pretends that the love was intended for him.


End file.
